ESFJs in Other Relationships
What are ESFJs like in friendships & platonic relationships?
In friendships and platonic relationships, ESFJs are loyal to a fault and always ready to defend their friends no matter the circumstances. Even if their friend may be in the wrong, ESFJs feel they must stand beside them and expect the same treatment in return.
So, when their friends don’t reciprocate to the same extent, they feel deeply hurt and betrayed. As a result, they may struggle in friendships with types who value truth over feelings, such as INTJ or ENTJ.
That’s not to say they can’t befriend these types, too—in fact, ESFJs can connect with nearly anyone. The only thing that limits them is their own prejudices, which make them gravitate towards people whose opinions and social status are accepted by their wider community.
What are ESFJs like as parents?
As parents, ESFJs are dedicated and affectionate, making sure to meet all their children’s emotional and physical needs and keep them safe and happy.
For many family-oriented ESFJs, raising children is the ultimate life goal, so they fully immerse themselves in parenting. They organize their children’s schedules, plan meals, take them on playdates, and keep track of their progress in school. There’s not a single aspect of their child’s life they aren’t involved in.
While this isn’t unusual when their child is small, it can be overbearing for older children and teenagers who begin to seek independence. And, in some ways, ESFJs may feel rejected when their children start to pull away, almost like they no longer matter in their lives.
However, as long as they can overcome this and accept that their children deserve their own separate lives, ESFJs make wonderful, loving, and committed parents.
ESFJ communication style
ESFJ’s communication style is warm and personable, focused on their own and other people’s feelings and moods. They are usually very expressive and enthusiastic, with an infectious energy and engaging attitude that few can resist.
As one of the more extroverted extroverts, ESFJs love chatting away for hours and enjoy catching up with people, even if it’s just through small talk. In fact, they consider small talk an excellent way of establishing that first connection and showing care in a simple way.
What are ESFJs like in conflict?
If there’s one aspect of socializing that ESFJs struggle with, it’s undoubtedly conflict. Due to their dominant Fe, ESFJs seek harmony under all circumstances and feel highly uncomfortable when it’s disrupted. As a result, they tend to avoid conflict at all costs.
Still, in some situations, like when criticized, ESFJs feel obligated to respond. Then, they may become defensive, emotional, and even uncharacteristically mean. They take no pride in this, though—in fact, they usually feel awful once they calm down!
3 tips for interacting with ESFJs
Tip #1
Use a warm tone. ESFJs are sensitive to tone and body language and may feel insecure if you don’t clearly show them you enjoy their presence.
Tip #2
Encourage them to speak openly. Although ESFJs are very extroverted, they often avoid sharing their opinions for fear of offending someone. Foster a friendly, inviting atmosphere to show them they can be open with you.
Tip #3
Listen to them. Ask ESFJs about their lives and show genuine interest in their answers to make them feel seen and appreciated. ESFJs like to talk but may be reluctant to do so if they don’t receive enough positive feedback.
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