ESFJs in Romantic Relationships
What are ESFJs like in romantic relationships?
In romantic relationships, ESFJs are dedicated, caring, and intensely loyal, fully supporting their partner’s dreams and desires and expecting the same in return. They value their romantic bonds above all others, so they’re willing to go to great lengths to ensure their partnership lasts.
This means an ESFJ might shower their significant other with affection, buy them gifts, and frequently organize dates. Furthermore, if they live with their partner, they will gladly take domestic responsibilities upon themselves.
However, their need for their partner’s validation and approval can manifest in unhealthy ways. ESFJs can easily lose themselves, compromising their own values to satisfy their partner and disregarding their own emotions entirely.
Furthermore, their social circles can play a more important role in their choice of partner than their own wishes. That’s because ESFJs have a hard time going against the grain and may not feel comfortable dating someone who doesn’t have their community’s approval.
What ESFJs look for in romantic relationships
In romantic relationships, ESFJs look for precisely what they readily give others: unwavering support, emotional connection, stability, and a sense of belonging.
In other words, ESFJs are in it for the long haul. They are unlikely to enjoy a casual fling and generally date only the people they can see a future with. Ultimately, most ESFJs consider marriage one of their biggest goals in life, so they approach each new relationship with that in mind.
Usually, ESFJs have a pretty good idea of what they want in a partner—not quite a checklist, but close enough. Still, as a highly emotional personality type, they can get carried away by their feelings and fall for someone completely unexpected.
ESFJ compatibility with other types
ISFJ - compatible
Caring and nurturing ISFJs share many similarities with ESFJs—both types seek stability and support their communities in any way they can. Though introverted, ISFJs are also people-oriented, always willing to give their time and energy to help.
ESFP - compatible
Born entertainers, ESFPs are also people-oriented, but they are far more carefree than ESFJs. This is precisely what ESFJs need—someone to help them relax while still sharing most of their values.
INTP - incompatible
ESFJs and INTPs are like oil and water; one type is emotional and concerned with social norms, while the other almost always relies on logic and rarely fits in.
ENTP
Charming ENTPs share many similarities with INTPs, except they are far more outspoken about their unconventional ideas. Unsurprisingly, ESFJs rarely gravitate towards this type, and vice versa.
ESFJ love language
ESFJ’s love language is words of affirmation, as they thrive on other people’s validation and praise. That way, they feel that their efforts in a relationship are not in vain.
How to love an ESFJ
Tip #1
Let them care for you. ESFJs love to shower people with affection, attention, and love, which may be slightly off-putting to more reserved types. However, try not to overthink it and simply show gratitude—your ESFJ will be over the moon!
Tip #2
Reciprocate kindness. ESFJs like to be cared for just as much as they like caring for others, even if they don’t outright say it. Make sure they receive enough affection and validation from your side, and your relationship will thrive.
Tip #3
Surprise them with grand gestures. To make your ESFJ feel special, surprise them with a grand display of love. Write a poem for them, send them love letters, or take them on an unexpected trip—none of which will go unappreciated!
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