INTJs in romantic relationships
What are INTJs like in romantic relationships?
In romantic relationships, INTJs can be a bit like a fish out of the water but also deeply committed, loyal, and supportive. Problem-solvers to the core, INTJs approach most aspects of the relationship from an analytical, logical standpoint, looking for ways to achieve mutual satisfaction.
However, this approach doesn’t always work—romance isn’t a task to be solved, nor is it entirely logical. When it comes to emotional matters, INTJs struggle, rarely expressing their own feelings and shutting down when faced with their partner’s strong emotions.
That doesn’t mean any attempt at emotional connection with an INTJ is doomed to fail. On the contrary, when this personality cares deeply about someone, their icy exterior melts, unveiling a much softer core. But it takes a while for INTJs to get there, so their partners must exercise patience.
What INTJs look for in romantic relationships
In romantic relationships, INTJs primarily look for intellectual connection, hoping to meet someone who can keep up with their ideas and challenge them in discussions. Nothing is as exciting to an INTJ as meeting someone who shares their passion for knowledge and truth.
In fact, like in other areas of their lives, INTJs have high standards for their partners and won’t settle for anything less. They might even make a checklist of traits their ideal partner should possess and use that to filter through their dates.
Unfortunately, this can make it difficult to find and keep a partner. INTJ’s critical eye is always on the lookout for imperfections, which isn’t exactly conducive to a happy and healthy romantic relationship.
INTJ compatibility with other types
ENFP - compatible
Warm, excitable ENFPs can bring INTJs out of their shell and help them connect to their emotional side. As an intuitive type, they love deep discussions just as much as INTJs, bringing a unique perspective to each conversation.
ENTP - compatible
Charming ENTPs love nothing more than a good debate to test their intellectual prowess against a worthy opponent. As it happens, INTJs enjoy this mental exercise, too, so this pair can spend hours absorbed in a deep conversation.
ESFJ - incompatible
INTJs and ESFJs are polar opposites—they don’t share the same interests or values and have difficulty finding anything to bond over.
ISFJ - incompatible
With their love for traditions and established systems, ISFJs are in direct opposition to INTJs, who enjoy shaking up the status quo.
INTJ love language
INTJ’s love language is quality time, which allows them to truly connect to their partner and get to know the inner workings of their mind.
How to love an INTJ
Express interest in their ideas
For INTJs, their intellect is everything, so it means the world to them when someone shows interest in it. They might not express it outright, but your effort won’t go unnoticed.
Give them space
INTJs are among the more introverted introverts, so they need extra alone time to recharge before they are ready for more socializing. Try not to be too pushy when they withdraw—they’ll come back in time.
Be straightforward
When something bothers you, say it clearly. Don’t play games with INTJs, and don’t be passive-aggressive. INTJs hate dishonesty and have little patience for people who can’t clearly say what they want.