ISTJs in Other Relationships

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What are ISTJs like in friendships & platonic relationships?

In friendships and platonic relationships, ISTJs are just as reliable, steadfast, and committed as in their romantic relationships, always showing up for a friend in need. They may not be adventurous friends or partners in crime, but they are certainly there when things get rough.

That’s not to say ISTJs don’t know how to have fun—they do, but they need time to get comfortable and open up. However, once they do, their friends will discover a quirky side to this personality type that’s barely noticeable at first glance.

Furthermore, though people often don’t see the value of having an ISTJ friend in their youth, this changes over time. With age, ISTJs’ friends come to appreciate the stability, security, and predictability this type brings to their lives.

What are ISTJs like as parents?

As parents, ISTJs are devoted, loyal, and quietly caring, aiming to raise a well-rounded, respectable individual with a strong sense of duty and responsibility.

ISTJs love tradition and stability, so they are usually family-oriented and more than willing to accept the parental role. They work hard to provide their children with everything they need and instill values they consider important.

As a result, ISTJs often have high standards for their children and may appear somewhat strict. Rather than taking their children out for adventures or trips, they might enroll them in various activities and classes from a young age, keeping their schedules full and carefully organized.

One aspect that most ISTJs struggle with is giving their children the emotional warmth and support they need. As highly logical types, ISTJs usually pay little attention to feelings—a habit they often must unlearn in their interactions with their children.

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ISTJ communication style

ISTJ’s communication style is direct, concise, and straightforward, without unnecessary tangents or exaggerations. In fact, ISTJs may come across as cold or overly formal simply due to their inexpressive and calm demeanor.

Furthermore, ISTJs rarely engage in casual chats unless they have to or are comfortable with the person they are talking to. Normally, they keep their conversations very short and to the point, but they can become more personable when they relax in good company.

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What are ISTJs like in conflict?

In conflict, ISTJs rarely lose their cool and remain collected, no matter what the other side says. This is largely because of their auxiliary Te, which is focused on problem-solving and keeps emotional responses at bay.

In other words, ISTJs approach each conflict as a problem that needs to be solved rather than a source of stress or worry. As a result, they tend to handle conflict well, although their calm attitude can be off-putting to more emotional types.

3 tips for interacting with ISTJs

  • Don’t take their words personally

    Sometimes, the things ISTJs say may come across as mean and confrontational, but that’s not usually their intention. Keep in mind that, though ISTJs don’t always have a filter, they generally mean well.

  • Avoid emotional outbursts

    ISTJs and emotions don’t mesh well together, so emotional outbursts only leave them confused and taken aback. It’s best to talk to this type calmly and rationally to get your point across and be truly heard.

  • Learn to read subtle signs

    ISTJs aren’t the type to complain, but subtle signs can give away if they are tired or stressed out. Similarly, they express care in subtle ways too, so it’s important to master the art of reading these signs to understand an ISTJ.

Learn how you interact in your friendships and platonic relationships with our personality test!

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