INTP Compatibility: INTPs in Relationships + Matches
by Lisa Sparrow
Analytical and thoughtful, INTPs (Architects) strive to develop a logical understanding of the world.
Perhaps that’s what makes interpersonal relationships so baffling to them—after all, they aren’t always logical.
While it’s true that navigating relationships isn’t that simple for INTPs, the good news is that it gets much easier once they surround themselves with people who are on the same wavelength!
So, in this comprehensive guide to INTP compatibility and relationships, we’ll explore the best and worst matches for INTPs, their communication and parenting styles, and much more.
Let’s dig in!
INTP Compatibility Chart for Love and Friendships
We all know how much Architects love analyzing data.
So, here’s an INTP compatibility chart you might find interesting:
For instance, since INTP compatibility with ENFJ personalities is relatively high, they are more likely to get along with them than with their sensing counterparts, ESFJs.
5 Best Matches for INTPs
As you’ve probably noticed, INTPs are generally more compatible with other intuitive personality types.
On that note, let’s take a closer look at their best matches—INTJs, ENFPs, INFPs, INFJs, and fellow INTPs.
#1. INTJ and INTP Compatibility
It shouldn’t be surprising that INTP compatibility with INTJ personalities is very high—both of these personality types could be described as sapiosexuals.
INTPs and INTJs share a fondness for philosophical and intellectual discussions. Not only that, but they also possess strong problem-solving skills that can help them overcome interpersonal difficulties.
Most importantly, these personality types can help one another overcome their weaknesses. INTPs can help INTJs become more adaptable and comfortable with change, whereas INTJs can inspire INTPs to consistently work toward their goals and become more organized.
That said, both personalities are rather reserved, so they may not always voice their concerns and express their feelings openly, which could become problematic.
#2. ENFP and INTP Compatibility
Since both ENFPs and INTPs are strong extraverted intuition (Ne) users, they often feel drawn to one another and admire each other’s open-mindedness. Being rather independent, they respect one another’s individuality and need for personal space, which builds a strong foundation for a long-lasting connection.
Oftentimes, ENFPs bring INTPs out of their comfort zones and help them navigate social situations. Meanwhile, INTPs can help ENFPs tap into their rational side and make better decisions, which helps curb their impulsivity.
However, ENFPs tend to be warm and affectionate, so they may feel underappreciated when INTPs keep their feelings to themselves. As such, learning to express emotions can help INTPs build stronger, more intimate relationships with ENFPs and other feeling personality types.
#3. INFP and INTP Compatibility
INTP compatibility with INFP personalities is high, as both of these personality types are relatively similar and thus feel comfortable in each other’s presence.
INTPs and INFPs both enjoy meaningful conversations. Oftentimes, they find each other’s perspectives intriguing and refreshing, as they tend to come to the same conclusion from different standpoints.
Nonetheless, these personalities can experience communication difficulties. Although INFPs value authenticity, they may not always appreciate INTPs’ bluntness, as it can hurt their feelings.
Meanwhile, INTPs may struggle to understand INFPs’ decision-making process and deem it irrational. Still, since both personality types are rather open-minded and flexible, they can find ways to overcome these issues and deepen their relationships.
#4. INTP and INTP Compatibility
Thanks to shared cognitive functions, INTPs tend to get along well with other INTPs. After all, they usually possess similar—if not identical—values, which help them build lifelong romantic, platonic, and professional relationships.
Like most personalities, INTPs tend to be drawn to like-minded people. Oftentimes, INTP-INTP relationships seem effortless, as these personalities understand each other intuitively, which makes communication a breeze.
However, since two people of the same personality type are very similar, such relationships are at risk of stagnation. Although INTPs may feel very comfortable around fellow Architects, such relationships don’t require much compromise. While this may sound like an advantage, in reality, it can accentuate their weaknesses (e.g., disorganization) and prevent growth.
#5. INFJ and INTP Compatibility
INTP compatibility with INFJ personalities is sky-high, as these personality types can complement and balance each other.
Not only that—they can help one another strengthen their weaker cognitive functions— introverted thinking (Ti) for INFJs and extraverted feeling (Fe) for INTPs—simply by spending time together and exploring each other’s perspectives.
In other words, INTPs can help INFJs foster their analytical thinking skills, while INFJs can help INTPs become more aware of people and their emotions.
Not to mention, INTPs’ spontaneity can inspire INFJs to become more adventurous, and they can reciprocate the favor by helping INTPs create long-term plans and better organize their lives.
3 Worst Matches for INTPs
Now that we’ve discussed the best matches for INTPs, let’s explore their worst matches—ESTJs, ESFPs, and ISFJs—in greater depth.
#1. INTP and ESTJ Compatibility
INTPs are rather individualistic and laid-back, whereas ESTJs are all about structure, rules, and organization. As such, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that INTP compatibility with ESTJs is rather low.
Since ESTJs like order, they may expect INTPs to adjust to their way of doing things, which can lead both of them to frustration. Needless to say, they might find it difficult to understand one another’s perspectives, as not only their views but also their values are vastly different.
Not to mention, INTPs may struggle to build a mental connection with ESTJs since they aren’t keen on theoretical discussions and have a more pragmatic approach to life.
#2. INTP and ESFP Compatibility
ESFP and INTP personalities have completely different energies: while ESFPs are outgoing, life-of-the-party types of people, INTPs are rather calm and reserved.
In theory, these personality types can complement each other, especially since they’re both spontaneous. However, more often than not, INTPs find ESFPs overwhelming. Their need for constant social interaction, attention, and affection may quickly drain INTPs’ social batteries and leave them exhausted.
Also, INTPs and ESFPs generally have different communication preferences, making it difficult for them to relate to one another. Unlike INTPs, ESFPs are very expressive and enjoy discussing practical day-to-day matters more than exploring mentally-stimulating topics.
#3. INTP and ISFJ Compatibility
INTPs and ISFJs share the same cognitive functions, but their order is different. Because of this, they often feel drawn to one another, yet such relationships rarely last long—at the end of the day, these personalities have completely different views and values in life.
Since ISFJs’ strongest cognitive functions are the weak spots of INTPs and vice versa, they might unintentionally emphasize one another’s weaknesses. This can be a major source of conflict, as they may not feel comfortable in each other’s company.
Nonetheless, ISFJ and INTP friendships and relationships can help both personalities grow if they learn to accept each other and help one another overcome their shortcomings.
That said, this is true for all pairings—INTPs can build highly rewarding relationships with less compatible personality types, but they may take significantly more work, understanding, and effort.
INTP Communication Style
INTPs are among the most introverted personalities, so they tend to be rather quiet. Although they’re constantly analyzing information, they don’t find it necessary to share everything that’s on their mind. Usually, they prefer to talk about abstract ideas, theories, and possibilities, keeping the details of their personal lives to themselves.
Despite their reserved demeanor, INTPs like to engage in intellectual conversations and show off their knowledge. In fact, they can be surprisingly talkative when they’re passionate about the topic! They’re also very inquisitive, but their desire to get to the bottom of things coupled with their directness can cause them to come off as harsh and argumentative.
How Do INTPs Approach Dating and Relationships?
INTPs tend to have a laid-back approach to dating and relationships. Typically, they don’t actively look for a romantic partner, but they aren’t closed off to romantic prospects either.
Since INTPs can be fairly shy and many of them struggle with a fear of rejection, they usually prefer others to make the first move. That said, even if they don’t express their feelings out loud, there’s a high chance that an Architect is interested in you if they make an effort to spend as much time with you as possible.
With that in mind, let’s see what constitutes a perfect relationship for INTPs, and what can make relationships with Architects a challenge.
What Do INTPs Need in a Relationship?
To be happy in a relationship, INTPs need:
- Honesty. Although INTPs can be frank to the point of sounding abrasive, they see honesty as the key to avoiding misunderstandings and expect it from their partners.
- Intellectual compatibility. INTPs need a romantic partner who will easily follow their line of logic and contribute to the conversation.
- Personal space. Introverted and independent, INTPs appreciate partners who give them plenty of time to pursue their personal hobbies and interests.
Challenges of Dating INTPs
If you’re dating an INTP, here are some challenges you can expect to encounter:
- Poor emotional expression. Reserved and rational, INTPs rarely express their feelings openly, which can cause their partners to feel underappreciated.
- Avoidance of negative emotions. While INTPs are big on solving problems, they aren’t so fond of addressing emotional issues in relationships. They may want to gloss over them, offer quick fixes, or shut off from their partners altogether.
- Reluctance to commit. As perceiving types, INTPs can be somewhat fickle and avoid conversations about commitment, future plans, and such.
What Are INTPs Like as Romantic Partners?
Despite their lack of emotional depth, INTPs generally make great romantic partners. While they might not be romantic in the traditional sense, they usually find other ways to show their feelings. They often express love by sharing their passions, helping their partners solve dilemmas, and spending plenty of quality time with them.
In romantic relationships, INTP men and INTP women display many admirable qualities, including:
- Loyalty. While it’s true that INTPs don’t commit quickly, once they do, they make faithful partners and are dedicated to making their relationships work.
- Focus on growth. Self-improvement is a top priority for INTPs, and they carry the same mindset into their romantic relationships. Because of this, they are receptive to feedback and do everything within their power to attend to their partners’ needs.
- Independence. Since INTPs are independent and open-minded, they tend to embrace and celebrate their partners’ individuality instead of trying to change them.
- Laid-back attitude. Generally speaking, INTPs are relaxed and undemanding. As long as their partners feed their intellectual hunger with lots of interesting conversations, their relationship needs are more or less satisfied.
- Spontaneity. Despite being quiet, INTPs are spontaneous, imaginative, and open to new ideas and experiences. Coupled with their good sense of humor, this helps them keep their relationships fun and exciting.
What Are INTPs Like as Friends?
As friends, INTPs are easy-going, helpful, and loyal, though they often find it difficult to make friends due to their introverted natures. Also, they tend to seek out people who match their intellect, which isn’t that easy to find. Because of this, INTPs usually have a small circle of friends, but they value these connections deeply.
Although it may seem that INTPs are only interested in having intellectual conversations with their friends, this isn’t quite the case. They also genuinely enjoy helping them solve problems. Analytical and creative, they often give valuable insights into situations, brainstorm different options their friends may not have thought of, and help them identify the best solution.
Not to mention, INTPs are open-minded, so they rarely, if ever, judge others. Still, they’re very honest, so you can always count on them to tell you the naked truth!
What Are INTPs Like as Parents?
Generally, INTPs make relaxed, open-minded, and supportive parents. Rather than controlling their children, they allow them plenty of freedom to develop their independence and critical thinking skills. They also tend to treat their children as adults, taking the time to understand their reasoning instead of expecting them to follow their orders.
Besides that, INTP parents enjoy helping their kids solve problems and explore the world, but they usually let them make their own decisions. Also, while they aren’t demanding, they tend to place a high value on knowledge and intelligence, so they try their best to foster a sense of curiosity in their children.
Although INTPs make wonderful parents, they may not always know how to handle their children’s emotions and irrational actions. Nonetheless, learning to navigate such situations can help them develop more empathy and understanding, deepening their relationships with their children.
How Do INTP Cognitive Functions Affect Their Relationships?
It’s no secret that INTP compatibility is closely related to their cognitive functions, and so is their behavior in relationships.
So, let’s see what role each INTP cognitive function plays in this personality type’s interpersonal relationships.
Introverted Thinking (Ti)
In INTP relationships, introverted thinking (Ti) manifests as a need for intellectual stimulation. More often than not, Architects are attracted to people’s minds before developing physical attraction.
Moreover, Ti determines that INTPs solve problems and make decisions logically. Because of this, they usually have a rather analytical approach to relationships, preferring to listen to their heads instead of their hearts.
Extraverted Intuition (Ne)
Auxiliary extraverted intuition (Ne) brings INTPs a passion for exploring ideas and connections between them. Because of this, INTPs are usually curious about their friends, romantic partners, and other close people, striving to find out as much about them as possible.
Also, Ne ignites a sense of spontaneity in INTPs. Instead of carefully planning their dates, for example, they may prefer to be more adventurous and see where the day takes them. Also, they see multiple possibilities of how their relationships might unfold in the future, which is one of the reasons why they aren’t big on long-term planning.
Introverted Sensing (Si)
Since introverted sensing (Si) is the tertiary INTP cognitive function, it doesn’t have as much impact on their relationships as Ti and Ne.
That said, Si helps INTPs store valuable experiences and information in their minds. Although they can be quite absent-minded, developing Si can help INTPs remember important dates, your most and least favorite snacks, and other small but special details. Needless to say, INTPs with well-developed Si make attentive friends and romantic partners!
Extraverted Feeling (Fe)
Extraverted feeling (Fe) is the inferior INTP cognitive function, which essentially explains why people with this personality type avoid dealing with emotions whenever possible.
Simply put, providing emotional support, expressing emotions, etc. doesn’t come to INTPs naturally. As dominant Ti users with inferior Fe, they tend to be quite emotionally detached. However, it doesn’t mean that INTPs don’t have feelings—they simply don’t put much emphasis on them.
And that’s a wrap!
Hopefully, this article answered all of your questions on INTP compatibility and relationships.
Before you go, here’s a quick summary of what we’ve covered:
- INTP compatibility is highest with XNXP and other intuitive personality types.
- INTPs might struggle to get along with sensing personality types—especially ESTJs, ESFPs, and ISFJs—since they have different values and needs.
- Although INTPs have difficulty expressing emotions, they strive to continuously improve themselves and make supportive friends, parents, and romantic partners.