INFJ Compatibility & Relationship Guide [+ 5 Best Matches]
by Lisa Sparrow
Although INFJs can build healthy relationships with nearly all personality types, relationships with some of them will require less work than with others.
So, if you want to find out which personality types are the best matches for INFJs, we’ve got you covered!
In this comprehensive INFJ compatibility and relationship guide, we will explore everything about INFJ relationships, from compatibility with other personality types to how they deal with breakups.
Let’s dig in!
INFJ Compatibility Chart for Friendships and Romantic Relationships
Although INFJs get along with most people, they aren’t equally compatible with every personality type.
So, here’s an INFJ compatibility chart that will help you get a better picture of how INFJs get along with different personality types in friendships and romantic relationships:
5 INFJ Best Matches For Romantic Relationships
Ready to find out which are the best matches for INFJs and why? Let’s dive in!
#1. INTJ and INFJ Compatibility
The primary cognitive function of INFJs is introverted intuition (Ni), which also happens to be the primary function of INTJs. Because of this, INFJ compatibility with INTJs is as high as it can be.
INFJs find comfort in INTJs, as they can easily understand how INFJs process information and perceive the world. INFJ and INTJ couples often have mentally stimulating discussions about abstract ideas and like to communicate using symbols and metaphors.
Ultimately, no other type (except for their own, of course) can understand INFJs as well as INTJs do. That said, INFJs might need more affection and emotional closeness than INTJs, which can sometimes cause tension in the relationship.
#2. ENFJ and INFJ Compatibility
Just like INFJs, ENFJs are very sensitive, emotional, and caring individuals. The ENFJ and INFJ compatibility is very high, as these types share the same cognitive functions, just in a different order.
For this reason, INFJs and ENFJs can intuitively understand each other. Both the types also put their partners first, which is refreshing for INFJs - after all, many of them have experience with one-sided relationships.
Nonetheless, even an INFJ relationship with ENFJs isn’t without its challenges. Because of their similarities, both partners might feel like they have to compete for power and dominance in the relationship. This can bring out the worst in both personality types.
#3. INFP and INFJ Compatibility
INFPs and INFJs have a lot in common - they’re both introverted feelers that deeply care about the world. Although this can lead to emotional rollercoasters, the INFJ and INFP compatibility is one of the strongest.
INFJ relationships with INFPs are very intimate and vulnerable. Perhaps the best thing about their relationships, however, is that INFPs encourage INFJs to be their true authentic selves.
INFJs often feel odd, strange, and misunderstood. On the other hand, INFPs love everything unique and authentic, which can help INFJs embrace their quirkiness.
#4. INTP and INFJ Compatibility
INTPs and INFJs are often called the golden pair, so we probably don’t have to convince you that their compatibility is very high.
Although somewhat different, INTPs and INFJs greatly complement each other. For example, INFJs are prone to overanalyzing and stressing out over minor things. However, INTPs can help INFJs cut negative thought patterns using facts and rational thinking.
Like in most relationships with thinking types, however, INFJs require and expect more emotional involvement from INTPs.
#5. ENFP and INFJ Compatibility
INFJs are compatible with all intuitive feelers (otherwise known as Diplomats), and INFJ compatibility with ENFPs is no exception to this rule.
ENFP primary cognitive functions are exactly the same as INFJ shadow functions. Because of this, the two types don’t just complement each other, but also enable one another to grow and round out their personalities.
Not to mention, INFJ relationships with ENFPs are typically very playful. However, sometimes INFJs can find their relationship with ENFPs a bit too chaotic and unpredictable. If, however, both types allow themselves to learn from each other, they can balance out their personality traits and effectively avoid arguments.
3 INFJ Worst Matches For Romantic Relationships
As you might’ve noticed, even the best matches for INFJs have their weaknesses. That’s absolutely natural and to be expected, as no relationship is ever perfect.
However, some types are downright incompatible with INFJs. Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean you can’t be in a happy relationship with them - it will simply require more time, effort, and patience. So, let’s find out what the worst relationship matches for INFJs are!
#1. ESTJ and INFJ Compatibility
If there’s one personality type that INFJs have the worst compatibility with, it’s ESTJ.
In most cases, ESTJs are the opposite of the INFJ personality type. To INFJs, ESTJs can come across as controlling, harsh, and overly dominant. Although INFJs typically have gentle souls, they are very independent and averse to authority.
ESTJs also value traditions, whereas INFJs are always looking for ways to break social norms. In short, ESTJ and INFJ relationships can be very complicated and quarrelsome.
#2. ESTP and INFJ Compatibility
By now, you might’ve noticed a pattern - INFJs have a harder time building relationships with sensory (S) types than with intuitive (N) types. Unsurprisingly, the second-worst romantic match for INFJs is the ESTP personality type.
Energetic, impulsive, and disorganized - these three words perfectly describe ESTPs. These same traits, however, can quickly make INFJs feel frustrated and drained out.
In relationships, ESTPs and INFJs have completely different wishes and values. ESTPs can’t provide INFJs with the sense of security that they typically crave. ESTPs, on the other hand, might think that INFJs spend too much time in their heads, and aren’t spontaneous enough for them.
#3. ESFP and INFJ Compatibility
ESFPs are outgoing, fun-loving individuals. Although INFJs can generally enjoy the company of ESFPs for a short period, ultimately, they aren’t a good romantic match.
INFJs seek someone they can have deep and meaningful conversations with. However, ESFPs live in the moment and find theoretical discussions boring and even pointless.
Moreover, just like ESTPs, ESFPs might find INFJs too passive, as most of their energy is directed inwards.
What Does a Relationship Between Two INFJs Look Like?
Now that you know about INFJ compatibility with other personality types, you might be wondering whether INFJs are compatible with other INFJs.
Despite the high INFJ-INFJ compatibility, INFJs are rare, so it’s uncommon to see two INFJs in a relationship.
When it happens, however, an INFJ-INFJ relationship feels nearly magical - no personality type can understand an INFJ as well as another INFJ.
Two INFJs are likely to have a very intimate, emotional relationship that provides a safe space for each of them to share their feelings, dreams, secrets, and fears.
That said, though, two INFJs aren’t able to complement each other - as they share the same strengths and weaknesses. Because of this, whatever challenges an INFJ faces, such as sensory overload or overthinking, can become even more exaggerated in an INFJ-INFJ relationship.
The biggest threat to an INFJ-INFJ relationship, however, is the fear of conflict. No matter how hurt or offended they are, INFJs will go to great lengths to avoid speaking out, which prevents them from solving relationship issues.
How Do INFJs Approach Dating and Relationships?
When it comes to dating and relationships, INFJs are extremely cautious and guarded.
INFJs have a tendency to self-analyze and are therefore usually aware of their strengths and weaknesses. More importantly, INFJs know that in the wrong hands, their strengths (e.g. empathy and compassion) can be used against them.
After all, many INFJs struggle with a martyr complex despite having high standards in relationships.
It’s not uncommon for INFJs to start relationships out of pity or with the wish to help a person. When doing so, they sometimes disregard their wishes, gut feelings, and needs, especially in their first romantic relationships.
For this reason, it typically takes a long time for INFJs to build trust and open up. Even after months of dating, some INFJs remain very private and keep their partners at a distance.
Once INFJs establish trust with their partners, however, they become very devoted, loyal, and supportive of their partners’ happiness and needs.
What Do INFJs Seek in a Relationship?
INFJs are idealists. Whether they admit it or not, deep down they wish to meet someone with whom they’d have a fairytale romance.
As such, INFJs have a good understanding of what kind of relationship they want, allowing them to clearly outline what they seek in a relationship.
Some of the most common INFJ relationship needs include:
- Mental connection. Unlike most feelers, INFJs need a lot of mental stimulation. Ideally, they want a partner with whom they can mutually share knowledge and ideas. For this reason, INFJs are very compatible with many intuitive thinking types, including INTJs and INTPs.
- Emotional connection. INFJs are sensitive and gentle people who seek to build a deep and intimate emotional connection with their partners. If the emotional aspect is lacking in an INFJ relationship, they will eventually feel abandoned. In turn, this can make them grow apart from their partner.
- Trust. Like most people, INFJs value trust in a relationship. Unlike most people, however, INFJs must see that a person is worth their trust before committing to a relationship. Their need for trust is so strong that some unhealthy INFJs even play mind games to test their potential partners and see whether they’re trustworthy!
- Open expressions of love. Even though INFJs are introverted, they seek someone who will openly show their love for them. INFJs and INFJ-Ts especially struggle with self-doubt and self-criticism. Being constantly reminded that they’re loved helps them feel more confident in their relationship.
- Safety. Because INFJs struggle with trusting others, they need to be regularly reminded that they are safe and secure. If an INFJ lacks safety in a relationship, they can become extremely private and secretive.
What Do INFJs Have to Offer in a Relationship?
INFJs don’t only hold their relationships to a high standard - they also have high standards and expectations for themselves.
As such, INFJ partners have a lot to offer, including:
- Loyalty and commitment. In relationships, INFJs are incredibly loyal partners. They’re devoted to improving their relationship each day and don’t flee at times of adversity. Instead, they do their best to make the relationship work.
- Unconditional support. INFJs are very supportive of their partners’ personal and professional goals. Not to mention, INFJs often see their partner’s potential and can gently push them toward achieving it.
- Active listening. INFJ partners can make you feel heard like no one else. Unlike most people, INFJs aren’t self-centered. They much prefer hearing about their partners than talking about themselves and don’t mind being a shoulder to cry on.
- Honest communication. Although INFJs are reluctant to open up, if they completely trust their partner, they will do their best to communicate openly and honestly.
What Common Challenges Do INFJs Face in Relationships?
Just like INFJ friendships, INFJ relationships aren’t always easy.
Here are the most common challenges in INFJ relationships:
- Difficulty opening up. As mentioned above, INFJs are very private people. They don’t open up easily, and this may come across as a lack of interest. Rather than being disinterested in pursuing a relationship, though, INFJs are simply trying to protect their feelings.
- Inability to compromise. INFJs have very strong morals and opinions. Although this is one of their personality strengths, in relationships, it can become a challenge. That's primarily because INFJs aren't flexible, and even if their opinions aren't always correct, they still hold onto them tightly.
- Fear of conflict. INFJs are known as peacemakers, and they do everything in their power to avoid conflict. Sometimes, this can come at a price, as INFJs can avoid telling their partner what makes them unhappy. Ultimately, this can make them grow bitter toward their partner and prevent them from solving relationship problems.
How Do INFJs Express Love?
Although INFJs are introverted and don’t easily share their feelings, they go out of their way to show their partners how much they care about them.
INFJs express their love through both words and actions. In relationships, INFJs are very willing to listen to their partner’s standpoint, even if they don’t necessarily agree with it.
Rather than rushing to disagree with their partner, INFJs try their best to understand their point of view, although they aren’t as flexible and open-minded as many other personality types, such as ENFPs.
Moreover, INFJs show their love by spending quality time with their partners. As introverts, INFJs enjoy their own company and taking their time with their hobbies.. So, if they choose to spend time with you instead, it’s a good sign that an INFJ values, appreciates, and loves you.
Not to mention, INFJs are very creative and artistic people. As such, they might express love through art. Whether they write you a letter or send you a song that made them think of you, these little signs of attention make INFJ relationships very special.
How Do INFJs Deal With Breakups?
INFJs are very sensitive people, which makes it difficult for them to deal with breakups. INFJs are very loyal people who are always ready to solve problems, so they rarely initiate breakups.
That said, in some cases, INFJs become so hurt or disappointed that they can’t continue a relationship. Such situations typically lead to what is known as the INFJ door slam, where they completely shut a loved one out of their lives.
Essentially, INFJs long for relationships that will last a lifetime. As such, breakups for them can be devastating, as they aren’t just losing a loved one - they’re also losing their future together.
That said, INFJ-A and INFJ-T identities deal with breakups differently. INFJ-As can easily pick themselves up. They don’t lose hope and believe that there’s someone better waiting for them in the future.
INFJ-Ts, on the other hand, have a very hard time recovering after a breakup. They may blame themselves, get stuck in the past, or have a lot of regrets, no matter which side initiated the breakup.
However, because of their empathy, INFJs tend to lose themselves in relationships. For this reason, breakups provide INFJs a great opportunity to reconnect with themselves, remember their passions, and grow.
And that’s all you need to know about INFJ compatibility and relationships!
So, here’s a quick recap of the main points of this article:
- The best matches for INFJs include intuitive types such as INTJ, INFP, and ENFJ.
- INFJs are the least compatible with sensors, especially ESTJs, ESTPs, and ESFPs.
- INFJ-INFJ relationships can be emotionally fulfilling yet difficult if both INFJs aren’t willing to openly discuss relationship problems.
- INFJs have a very cautious and reserved approach to relationships.
- The most common INFJ relationship struggles are reluctance to open up, compromise, and deal with conflict.
- INFJs tend to express love with words and actions, and by spending time with their partners.
- Most INFJs need a lot of time to recover after a breakup.