INFJ Love: What Happens When an INFJ Falls in Love?
by Lisa Sparrow
To many people, INFJs are a true mystery. The way these introverts think, act, or show affection is as rare as their personality type.
Still, INFJ love may be the biggest enigma. What happens once these seemingly reserved people meet the right person? One thing is for sure—you may be in for a surprise.
If you want to find out what it’s like to love an INFJ or be their love interest, we’ve got you covered! Sit back and relax, read this all-in-one article, and learn:
- How Do INFJs Fall in Love?
- What Are INFJ's Love Languages?
- How Can You Tell That an INFJ Loves You?
… and much more!
How Do INFJs Fall in Love?
Falling in love doesn’t happen fast for INFJs.
They tend to be misunderstood as cold and unapproachable all their lives. This makes them afraid that they won’t find someone who will truly understand the essence of their being and accept them the way they are.
For this reason, they feel the need to put their guard up to protect themselves from pain.
Still, once an INFJ’s intuition tells them you’re worth the effort and they feel the connection with you, they will fall for you in the blink of an eye. When this happens, it’s no exaggeration to say that they’ll be ready to go to the end of the world to make you happy.
INFJ Males in Love
If you tickle an INFJ man’s fancy, they aren’t likely to make a move on you right away. The main culprit for this is their fear of rejection. They may even prefer to be your friend first and get to know you better before they show any romantic affection.
INFJ males may also be the most loyal partners among all personality types. They will stay by your side no matter what, but they’ll also expect the same from you. Even though they may be too shy to express their feelings with words, they’ll always find other ways to let you know how much you mean to them.
An INFJ male will also always notice if something is wrong. They can pick up on any change in your mood or feelings thanks to their unmistakable intuition.
INFJ Females in Love
INFJ women may express their feelings more clearly in love relationships than men. Unlike males, they’ll tell if something bothers them or makes them unhappy. That being said, it’s clear they cherish great communication more than anything.
While INFJ guys have a hard time accepting partners who don't fit their high standards, women often embrace them and try to “fix” them, adopting a savior complex.
What they share with INFJ men is patience and a willingness to listen to their loved one at any time. They will do anything to make you feel accepted, appreciated, and supported.
What Are INFJ's Love Languages?
Each personality type has a specific love language (or two). It helps them express their romantic feelings to their partner or see the feelings someone else has for them. For INFJs, those would be:
- Quality time. INFJ people don’t need to receive expensive gifts or material objects to feel loved. These people flourish while spending fun and productive time with you—for example, cooking a delicious meal or having a long late-night talk. It’s their favorite way to receive and show attention to people they feel close to.
- Words of affirmation. This personality type is amazing at encouraging and uplifting other people. Still, they are often insecure due to their tendency to overanalyze themselves and everyone around them. They’ll know you love them if you remind them how valuable they are and how you feel about them.
How Can You Tell That an INFJ Loves You?
If an INFJ loses their head over you, they will leave no room for you to doubt it. They’ll show love and affection to you by:
- Opening up to you. INFJs need some time to get comfortable sharing their views and beliefs. Once they do it and notice that you understand them, they’ll long for deep talks and interactions with you.
- Listening to what you have to say. INFJs won’t just nod their heads and pretend to empathize with you. They’ll really hear your thoughts and concerns, respect your points of view, and make you feel appreciated at all times.
- Having time for you no matter what. As mentioned before, spending quality time with a partner is a must for INFJs. They will drop anything in a second or cancel any arrangements to spend more time with you.
- Helping you out. Your needs will always be their number one priority. They will want to protect the harmony of your life by helping you eliminate anything that makes you concerned or sad.
INFJ Love Compatibility With Other Personality Types
INFJs can build a solid relationship with any other personality type as long as both partners are willing to compromise. Still, some types, such as ENTP and ENFP, possess certain traits that can make the best of INFJs come to the surface.
People with ENTP and ENFP personality types are extroverted by nature, which matches the INFJs’ interest in people. Due to their open-mindedness and free spirit, they can understand INFJs and accept their strict views on specific life matters.
ENTPs and ENFPs also have the special gift of approaching reserved people in a light and non-invasive way. This makes it easier for them to form bonds with INFJs and get closer to them.
On the other hand, ESTPs and ISTPs are probably the least compatible matches for INFJs. ESTPs may be too unemotional to get into a firm relationship with sensitive people. ISTPs, on the other hand, may be too realistic to understand their dreamer mindset.
Note: To see a compatible match for ESTP, you can check out our guide on ESTP cognitive functions and also the ESTP career path, so you can have a better understanding of this particular personality type!
How Does Extraverted Sensing (Se) Affect INFJ Love?
This part of the INFJ personality is responsible for the way these people observe the physical world around them. Along with their dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), it helps an INFJ read between the lines and judge people better. The connection between these two functions allows people with this personality type to:
- Choose the right partner by successfully assessing their flaws and virtues.
- Notice even the slightest physical changes pointing to swings in their partner’s mood.
- Feel when something is wrong with their loved one and approach them to help them heal.
3 Tips for INFJs to Find True Love
INFJs have great potential to be wonderful partners. Yet, they are often insecure about whether they will ever find their soulmate.
The main culprits for this are their incurable idealism and tendency to overanalyze every relationship they get into. Still, if they are persistent enough, they can cure this problem and have a healthy love life.
Here are three tips on how they can do it.
#1. Have Realistic Expectations
INFJs strive for perfectionism in every sphere of their lives, be it their career, friendships, or love. This can be a huge burden on your relationships as an INFJ. And why? Because you’ll always expect nothing less than what you’ve always envisioned in a soulmate.
For this reason, you may get disappointed upon realizing that the person you like doesn't tick all the boxes on your list. The key to avoiding such issues is realizing that no person or relationship is flawless. The sooner you come to terms with it, the easier it will be for you to change your perspective.
Even better—you’ll learn to accept people as they are and cherish their virtues without comparing them to an imaginary ideal partner.
#2. Be Honest About Your Intentions
One of the few weaknesses of people with this personality type is that they consider themselves quite vulnerable. As a result, they hesitate to be the first to express their feelings, being afraid that these won’t be mutual.
It’s true that this is the least resistant path and seems like the least stressful option. Still, people can’t know that you like them unless you show it somehow. Learn how to subtly reveal your true intentions to the person of interest and ditch overthinking the outcome.
If they feel the same, you’ll feel proud of going beyond your limits and achieving the desired goal. If not, life goes on—there’s no shame in being brave enough to make the first move!
#3. Go to the Right Places
Chances are, you won’t find the love of your life while sitting at home binge-watching your favorite show.
To meet someone new, you must come out of your comfort zone. This means leaving your house and visiting places where you can interact with people who share your interests.
Don't ignore invitations to hang out, even though you might prefer to sleep or relax in your room. Yes, your introverted nature might make such decisions challenging. Still, once you get used to them, you’ll feel more comfortable moving beyond your boundaries.
How to Make an INFJ Fall in Love With You
The rare and enigmatic personality of INFJs often sweeps people off their feet. But, it’s not always easy to catch their attention, as they can be quite detached from reality.
Here’s what you can do to get closer to them and make them fall for you:
- Give them space. INFJs need time to open up and express their feelings—they often save them for people close to their hearts. They will want you to understand who they really are and get to know you better before getting into a relationship. Being impatient and putting pressure on them is an all-round recipe for disaster.
- Always be honest. You can’t trick INFJs. They will always discover the hidden intentions behind your actions and can tell if you’re being dishonest. If they realize you’re trying to manipulate or deceive them, you’ll have a hard time regaining their trust.
- Listen to them carefully. People with this personality type are excellent listeners, and they expect the same from their partners. Make them feel heard and supported, and you’ll have a one-way ticket to their heart.
- Be authentic. Since their intuition is rather strong, INFJs can easily recognize fake people. And they will not want to have anything to do with them. Be yourself, and don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Even if you’re different from them, they may find your personality compelling and want to be in your company.
How to Keep INFJ Love Alive?
Once you steal an INFJ’s heart and they fall head over heels for you, you’ll sure want to keep it that way. Here are a few pieces of advice on how to make a relationship with an INFJ thrive in the long run:
- Initiate deep conversations. INFJs don’t find joy in shallow talk. They are interested in mystical and abstract topics and love analyzing everything around them. The enjoyment is even bigger if they can share their views and visions on all those topics with the people they love.
- Show appreciation. People with an INFJ personality type need their partners to cherish their opinion. They will bond with you even more if you have the patience to listen to their (often messy) thoughts and discuss them without judgment. For INFJs, this is the ultimate proof of love since they can be rather self-critical. For this reason, they often need affirmation from their loved ones.
- Give them some alone time. If an INFJ needs to withdraw and spend some time on their own and enjoy their hobbies, don’t overthink it. It doesn’t mean that they don’t want to see you or be with you anymore. They will appreciate you more if you let them spend time alone when they need it.
Let’s sum up what we learned about INFJ love from this guide:
- Regardless of gender, INFJs approach relationships seriously. They need some time to open up and feel comfortable enough to show their feelings. Once they do, they’ll turn into your guardian angel.
- You’ll know unmistakably that an INFJ has fallen in love with you. They will shower you with tenderness, listen to your thoughts and concerns, and do everything to make you happy.
- To keep love with this personality type alive, you need to let them be themselves. They will appreciate receiving enough alone time, words of encouragement and appreciation, and honesty.
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