ENFJ Compatibility and Relationships [+ Dating Tips]
by Lisa Sparrow
Relationships, both romantic and platonic, are the cornerstone of any ENFJ’s happiness. It isn’t surprising, given that ENFJs are some of the most people-oriented personality types!
However, no matter how easy-going ENFJs are, they still get along better with some people than others. Oftentimes, this all boils down to personality type compatibility.
Not sure which personality types ENFJs are compatible with? We’re here to help!
This article covers ENFJ compatibility and relationships from A to Z, including:
- 5 Best Matches for ENFJs
- 3 Worst Matches for ENFJs
- What Are ENFJs Like as Friends?
- 5 Tips for Dating an ENFJ
ENFJ Compatibility Chart
There’s no denying that ENFJs can get along with pretty much anyone, thanks to their warm-heartedness and excellent communication skills.
Nonetheless, it’s always easier to build close friendships and romantic relationships with people whose personality types are compatible with your own.
So, here’s a useful ENFJ compatibility chart that illustrates how ENFJs relate to all 16 personality types:
5 Best Matches for ENFJs
Without wasting any time, let’s take a closer look at the ENFJ compatibility with the 5 best matches for this personality type: INFJ, INFP, ENTJ, ISFP, and ESFJ.
#1. INFJ and ENFJ Compatibility
INFJ and ENFJ personality types share the same cognitive functions, except their order is different.
Because of this, ENFJs often feel as if they’re looking at a mirror when they’re around INFJs. They share the same compassion toward people, a future-oriented approach to life, and a craving for tranquility. Not only is ENFJ compatibility with INFJs very high, but such relationships can also highlight the weaknesses both people need to work on.
Generally speaking, ENFJ and INFJ friendships and relationships are full of understanding and open emotional expression. Both people are eager to put the other’s needs first, which makes a mutually caring and fulfilling connection.
Not only is ENFJ compatibility with INFJs very high, but such relationships can also highlight the weaknesses both people need to work on. Both of these personality types are more comfortable with giving than receiving. For this reason, it’s important that both learn to receive and accept love, as otherwise conflicts may arise.
#2. INFP and ENFJ Compatibility
ENFJs and INFPs are another highly compatible pair that share a desire for harmony. Both personality types tend to be loyal and committed to their partners, which makes a great foundation for long-lasting friendships and relationships.
INFPs are drawn to ENFJs’ outgoing personalities and leadership skills, whereas ENFJs admire INFPs’ creativity. Most importantly, both personality types are emotionally intelligent, which makes it easy to understand and support each other.
Moreover, these two personality types can balance each other out. ENFJs tend to be perfectionistic and, at times, rigid, whereas INFPs often have their heads in the clouds. By learning to deal with their differences, ENFJs can become more laid-back, while INFPs can learn to be more consistent and grounded.
That said, both personality types tend to avoid conflict. Since it’s an inevitable part of any relationship, it’s important that ENFJs and INFPs find ways to address issues in a mature and healthy way instead of brushing them off.
#3. ENTJ and ENFJ Compatibility
Simply put, ENTJs and ENFJs have the potential to make a power couple. Even as friends or family, these two personality types encourage each other to go after their goals and reach for the stars.
ENFJs typically feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and ideas with ENTJs, as long as their conversation partner is thoughtful and respectful. What’s more, both personality types are driven and future-oriented. As such, the key to a successful ENTJ and ENFJ friendship or relationship is having a common goal to work on.
That said, both ENFJs and ENTJs thrive in leadership positions, which can result in tension and power struggles. Ultimately, both people need to learn to compromise and follow each other’s lead to build a solid relationship.
#4. ISFP and ENFJ Compatibility
Like most intuitive types, ENFJs typically get along best with other intuitives. However, there are some exceptions to this rule, and the ISFP personality type is one of them.
Both ENFJs and ISFPs are caring and kind people, which allows these personality types to create a strong emotional connection. ISFPs make thoughtful and considerate friends, parents, and partners, which is something that ENFJs greatly admire.
Better yet, ISFPs can help ENFJs venture outside of their comfort zones and explore all that life has to offer. Needless to say, both romantic and platonic relationships between ISFPs and ENFJs are full of adventure!
That said, sometimes ISFPs can find the presence of ENFJs exhausting. ENFJs, meanwhile, might feel like ISFPs live too much in the moment instead of planning for the future. However, if these two personality types can overcome their differences and accept each other’s nature, they can build exciting and fulfilling relationships that will last a lifetime.
On another note, if you're a fan of anime check out our guide on ISFP Anime Characters!
#5. ESFJ and ENFJ Compatibility
ESFJ is another sensing personality type that ENFJs are often attracted to and have great potential to build lasting connections with.
Both ENFJs and ESFJs share very similar values, which creates a solid foundation for a successful relationship. They both value helping other people, fostering close relationships, and sticking to commitments.
Both personality types also enjoy socializing, so they’re bound to lead active social lives. It’s important, however, that neither party loses sight of the other. When ENFJs and ESFJs come together, they may forget to spend quality time without the presence of other people.
Not to mention, since ESFJs and ENFJs are both extroverted, they tend to enjoy talking more than listening. For this reason, to make an ESFJ-ENFJ connection thrive, it’s important that both people practice their active listening skills. Otherwise, they may compete for the spotlight.
3 Worst Matches for ENFJs
Unfortunately, as much as they’d like to, even ENFJs can’t be compatible with everyone.
So now, let’s see what makes them incompatible with their 3 worst matches—ESTJ, ISTP, and ISTJ personality types.
#1. ESTJ and ENFJ Compatibility
ESTJ and ENFJ compatibility is very low, to say the least. These two personality types often struggle to find common ground and compete for dominance. For this reason, such connections are often very exhausting for both people.
Both ESTJs and ENFJs enjoy leadership, yet they approach it from different perspectives. ESTJs are pragmatic and calculated, and they strive for efficiency without much regard to other people’s needs and feelings. ENFJs, meanwhile, find this inconsiderate and unacceptable.
Even if ESTJs and ENFJs can initially be intrigued by one another, the interest quickly fades away as they uncover irreconcilable differences between each other. More often than not, neither platonic nor romantic or professional ESTJ-ENFJ relationships work out in the long-term.
To make matters worse, the deeper their connection becomes, the more vulnerable and exposed both people feel in each other’s presence. Instead of helping each other grow, ESTJ and ENFJ people tend to point fingers at each other’s flaws, creating a lot of friction and frustration.
#2. ISTP and ENFJ Compatibility
Generally, these two personality types approach day-to-day life and relationships differently. For example, while ENFJs are verbally expressive in love, ISTPs simply expect their partners to know they’re loved. It goes without saying that this can cause a lot of misunderstandings.
That said, if they share common goals and interests, ISTPs and ENFJs might be inclined to make their connections work. Luckily, if both people are determined enough to work out their differences and understand each other, ISTP-ENFJ friendships and relationships can have a happy ending.
Still, they require a lot of effort, mutual understanding, and growth—something not all people are eager to do.
#3. ISTJ and ENFJ Compatibility
Although ISTJ and ENFJ people can complement each other, ENFJs are highly unlikely to feel satisfied in such friendships and relationships.
Primarily, that’s because ISTJs tend to be very private people who rarely, if ever, share their innermost feelings. ENFJs, on the other hand, strive to know their partner through and through. They want to know their most secret dreams, fears, feelings, and thoughts, which can make ISTJs feel uncomfortable, akin to a fictional character.
Such differences in communication can leave ENFJs feeling lonely. That said, both of these personality types are well-organized and skilled planners. Because of this, they can make great colleagues or business partners, as long as they share a mutual vision.
Are ENFJs Compatible with Other ENFJs?
No matter your personality type, it’s only natural to wonder whether you’d get along with other people with your personality type.
Well, in this case, the answer is simple—yes, ENFJ-ENFJ compatibility is pretty high!
ENFJs make great colleagues, friends, family members, and partners for other ENFJs. Generally speaking, no matter the type of relationship, ENFJs easily become best friends with people who share their personality type. For this reason, ENFJ parents often have a close relationship with their ENFJ children, whereas ENFJ romantic partners typically start as good friends.
ENFJs tend to instinctively understand each other and aren’t afraid to dive into the depths of their emotions. Unsurprisingly, ENFJ-ENFJ friendships and relationships are usually marked by a deep emotional bond. ENFJs are also great at lifting people up and helping them flourish, which creates a mutually supportive and beneficial connection.
That said, ENFJs tend to sweep things under the rug to maintain harmony. Eventually, this can lead to an unmanageable build-up of problems. As such, it’s crucial for both ENFJs to learn how to address problems before they become too much to handle.
What Are ENFJs Like as Romantic Partners?
In love, ENFJs are very supportive and encouraging partners. They want to see their loved ones thrive and will make their best effort to help them live up to their full potential.
What’s more, ENFJs are highly sensitive and attentive to their partners’ needs and wishes. Nothing is more important to them than completely understanding their loved ones. Once they learn what makes their partners happy, they’ll quickly make changes to please them.
And, although ENFJs love talking, they are always eager to listen to anything the person they care about has to say!
ENFJs are also very expressive and affectionate in love. They tend to show love through words, small gestures such as cooking their partner’s favorite meal, as well as through physical touch. That said, ENFJs can be very sensitive to criticism and are prone to becoming passive-aggressive when they’re hurt or their efforts aren’t reciprocated.
Moreover, since they’re so focused on helping their loved ones thrive, some ENFJs tend to see their partners as projects. In reality, however, this might create an unequal power balance and even lead to resentment.
To avoid such situations, it’s important that ENFJs choose their partners carefully. Most people with this personality type find emotional fulfilment in relationships with equally driven and compassionate people.
What Are ENFJs Like as Parents?
As parents, ENFJs are focused on their children’s emotional well-being as much as on their achievements. They typically believe that the secret to success is believing in yourself, and so they make it a point to give their children all the validation and reassurance they need.
For this reason, ENFJs don’t believe in “tough love.” Since ENFJs are sensitive to criticism themselves, they refrain from saying anything that may hurt their children and break down their self-confidence. Instead, they tend to adopt a compassionate approach and help them learn from their mistakes.
That said, ENFJs often have high expectations both for themselves and for their children. If their children aren’t living up to their expectations, most ENFJs will blame themselves. Likewise, they tend to take their children’s misbehavior personally.
The takeaway is that ENFJs make caring and devoted parents. Most importantly, people with this personality type are usually able to maintain a healthy balance between being a parent and being a friend to their children.
What Are ENFJs Like as Friends?
As extroverts, ENFJs greatly value their friendships. While they tend to have a large circle of acquaintances, they only share their innermost feelings with their closest friends.
Like in romantic relationships and parenthood, ENFJs place a lot of emphasis on being supportive in their friendships. They pride themselves on being able to see the potential in everyone they meet and often guide their friends toward success.
ENFJs crave deep and long-lasting friendships instead of shallow connections. As such, they expect more from their friends than just partying and having fun. Essentially, they see their friends as a tight-knit support system. And, of course, they’re always there to have their friends’ backs, too!
Moreover, ENFJs do their best to make everyone in their social circle happy and included. They strive for harmony in all of their relationships, including platonic ones, and go out of their way to ensure that their friends feel valued, understood, and appreciated.
No matter how busy they might be, ENFJs always find the time to listen to their friends’ concerns and provide some guidance. It should come as no surprise that they make some of the most dependable friends. Still, they expect the same loyalty, understanding, and devotion from those around them.
What Do ENFJs Seek in a Romantic Partner?
Now that you know what makes relationships with ENFJs rewarding, you might be wondering how you could land yourself a romantic relationship with one of them.
The truth is, personality type compatibility isn’t enough to impress an ENFJ. Unless you can offer them exactly what they need, forget about any ENFJ giving you a chance!
So, here’s what ENFJs look for in a romantic partner:
- Emotional connection. This personality type is highly in tune with their emotions. As such, they look for partners who will be able to handle and reciprocate their emotional depth
- Loyalty and commitment. People with this personality type aren’t ones to look for flings. In matters of love, ENFJs are in it for the long haul and expect you to be the same
- Support. ENFJs are used to being other people’s cheerleaders. While they don’t have a problem being their own biggest fans, they too want to feel supported by their partners
- Honesty. While people with this personality type are sensitive to criticism, they do value and expect honesty from their loved ones. Just don’t forget to be mindful of how you express yourself!
ENFJ Strengths and Weaknesses in Romantic Relationships
Now that you know some more about ENFJs, it shouldn’t be hard to tell that they possess numerous strengths and gifts that make them amazing romantic partners. These include:
- Ability to lead and inspire. ENFJs are natural-born leaders. Even if you have no life goals or career aspirations, they’ll help you find and achieve your mission
- Willingness to help. ENFJs are very empathetic and sensitive people who are always willing to help—no wonder many of them choose careers in social work, education, and healthcare! In a relationship, though, it means that they’ll always be there for you and help you overcome any obstacles in your way.
- Solid communication skills. Before making any decision, you can be sure your ENFJ partner will first discuss it with you. And, although they can tend to speak a lot, they also have great active listening skills.
- Perseverance. ENFJs don’t easily give up. Once they commit to you, they’ll do everything in their power to make the relationship work.
- Growth mindset. Although ENFJs tend to take criticism to heart, they know that mistakes and failure only help them grow.
Of course, ENFJs aren’t perfect. So, here are some of their weaknesses in relationships:
- People-pleasing. ENFJs value harmony and making others happy. In turn, they may abandon their own needs or deliberately avoid conflict, both of which can harm the relationship.
- Rushing. Sometimes, ENFJs can fall head over heels in love way too quickly, which can eventually lead to relationship problems such as incompatibility.
- Emotional nature. Like most feeling types, ENFJs can be prone to giving in to their feelings and emotions. As a result, they may take things personally and make hasty decisions.
5 Tips for Dating an ENFJ
Done weighing all the pros and cons of dating an ENFJ and ready to give it a shot? Here are 5 tips that might come in handy:
- Have the right expectations. In short, most ENFJs don’t look for a casual relationship. If you can’t offer them a long-term commitment, they’ll quickly kiss you goodbye.
- Share your dreams. ENFJs want to get to know you, dream with you, and help you achieve your dreams, so don’t hesitate to be open about your goals and aspirations with them.
- Tend to their needs. Because they’re so sensitive to other people’s needs, ENFJs can simply forget to take care of their own. If you can’t prepare them a meal, for example, make sure to at least ask them whether they’ve eaten today—they’ll appreciate the reminder!
- Don’t use their kindness. ENFJs are willing to compromise and go to great lengths to maintain peace and harmony. Nonetheless, you shouldn’t use this—it won’t take long before they realize your intentions.
- Be aware of your tone. Because of their inherent sensitivity, ENFJs care not only about what you’re saying but also how you’re saying it. So, make sure to be considerate and soft in your communication.
Congratulations! After reading this article, you should have a much better idea of ENFJ compatibility with other personality types.
Let’s top it off with a brief recap of the key points we covered:
- ENFJs have the highest compatibility with other NF types and introverted SF types.
- ENFJs aren’t compatible with sensory thinkers, including ESTJs, ISTPs, and ISTJs.
- As romantic partners, parents, and friends, ENFJs are very supportive and caring, and they always make an effort to help their loved ones achieve their goals.
- ENFJs seek a deep and honest emotional connection, support, and loyalty in romantic relationships.
- Although ENFJs are always ready to help and communicate in romantic relationships, their emotional nature and people-pleasing tendencies can make relationships with them challenging.